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Losing Aby: Grief and Stillness

Posted by on Aug 27, 2016 in Uncategorized | 5 comments

Losing Aby: Grief and Stillness

It is done. There is a stillness in the house that I don’t recognize.  My husband asks if I want pasta and wine. My son is singing Jeff and Paige songs. I realize that the stillness is actually inside of me- her parting gift. I wish to hold her warm body in my lap, stroking her head and gently rubbing the pink spot right above her nose. Instead it’s my laptop on my lap. A poor substitute for a soft, furry friend and the feel of her breath going in and out. I wish I’d have remembered that more throughout the years when my computer sucked me in. “She went really quickly,” Danielle says. “Her body was tired. Sometimes they hang on for us.” The stillness. Suddenly I am...

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How To Raise Non-Judgmental Children

Posted by on Apr 7, 2016 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

How To Raise Non-Judgmental Children

My 5 year old son and I are driving by our new neighbor’s house.  He enthusiastically starts waving, rolls down the window and says, “Hi!  Hi!”  His excitement is contagious, so I start waving too.  Our neighbor stands there, looking at us as we pass his house. “Well he wasn’t very friendly,” I say.  Then I pause.  I can feel the twinge of judgment in my body, manifesting as a slight tightness in my throat and chest.  I aspire to use and teach Non-Violent Communication (NVC) in my house, and I’ve just broken the first guideline, which is to make observations instead of judgments. Being Aware of Self-Judgment I could go down the...

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Blame and the Empty Boat Practice

Posted by on Oct 8, 2015 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

Blame and the Empty Boat Practice

I am sitting with clients at my office in the autumn morning shade. Their rescue dog sits with us. He was caged in a dog mill for 7 years until my clients opened their home and hearts to him. A shifting of position in my chair used to startle him- now he is unfazed. His eyes are friendly and take in all that surrounds him. He is relishing his newfound freedom and is confident where he once was unsure, eager to explore the surrounding ranch and then return when called. There is also a cat; soft, young, grey with white socks, friendly, and cute. I’m not sure where she came from, but she’s been calling the ranch home for about a month. The dog sees the cat and chases her....

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3 Mindfulness Activities You Can Do With Your Child Today

Posted by on Sep 21, 2015 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

3 Mindfulness Activities You Can Do With Your Child Today

“Mindfulness means paying attention, in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.” ~ Jon Kabat-Zinn Mindfulness. It’s popping up everywhere! The reason? We now have the ability to study the brain like we haven’t before due to modern technology, and the results are in. Mindfulness is good for your health, your stress level, your relationships, healing trauma, giving birth, developing compassion for others, developing self-compassion, communicating clearly, and living a happier life! For more information on the neuroscience behind mindfulness meditation, The Buddha Brain by Rick Hanson is an excellent resource. Even though most of us are...

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Depression Sucks: 7 Questions That Can Help

Posted by on May 14, 2015 in Uncategorized | 1 comment

Depression Sucks: 7 Questions That Can Help

Depression. It sucks. Here’s my new working definition of depression: Can’t let go of the past, can’t move on towards the future, so might as well hate yourself in the present. Depression results in painful sensation in the body* that we attach meaning to such as:      why bother with anything    you will never feel joy again    nothing is satisfying    life is meaningless    you are broken and there is no fix In addition depression can disrupt:    Sleep    Relationships    The ability to work/go to school    Appetite    The ability to care for one’s self    The ability to care for others The ability to do everyday tasks Inherent in all of...

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Ending the Torment of Regret

Posted by on Feb 24, 2015 in Uncategorized | 2 comments

Ending the Torment of Regret

This is real life. You will be asked to make decisions that will bring you to your knees. You will wrestle and grapple with whatever it is. You will shed tears of agony and pain and then… You will choose, because you must. You will do the very best you can in that moment. And then…. Regret will set in. It may creep in slowly, or it may hit you like a bullet train. Your mind will tell you stories about how the other choice would have been better. The other choice would have had less suffering. The other choice would have been right, good, and happy. Your ego will judge you with the weight of 100,000 elephants crushing your soul. You’re stupid You should have known better...

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