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Wisdom from the Willy Wonka of Technology

Posted by on Oct 15, 2011 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

To be honest I never thought much about Steve Jobs, even though I am a die-hard Mac, ipod and iphone user, and my 16 month old son knows how to use an ipad.  However, after I heard about his death, I became curious about his life.  Who was this man that invented the technology that I suddenly find difficult to go a day without? What I found profoundly impacted me.  I’ve decided to let his wisdom speak for itself. On Work: “Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep...

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Compassion Confusion

Posted by on Aug 29, 2011 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

In my work I talk a lot about compassion.  What it is, and what it isn’t.  There’s a lot of confusion out there.  The biggest misconception I hear can be summarized as, “If I was really a compassionate person, I’d be ok with whatever people do that hurts me, because I know that the other person is hurting as well.”  Although this way of thinking contains a seed of truth (the other person is hurting) it is a misguided view of compassion, and ultimately leads to more suffering for both people. Maria’s Story: Maria had been in a relationship for 2 years.  Often when she and her partner would disagree on something he would become very...

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Victim Math

Posted by on Jul 18, 2011 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

A client of mine recently described his struggles with his wife. “I do victim math.  I start adding it all up.  I watched the baby so she could work.  I did the laundry.  I vacuumed.  She didn’t say thank you or appreciate any of it!  Eventually, I feel resentful.  The clincher is she will criticize me for something and I just blow up!  Then she’s hurt and angry with me!  Victim math is really hurting my relationship.” Not Being Authentic This is a good description of what we all do from time to time.  We think we are doing the other person a “favor” by not sharing the truth of our experience- the little ways we feel hurt and...

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Social Anxiety

Posted by on Jun 14, 2011 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

You’re at a party that you didn’t want to go to in the first place, but you got talked into it.  You walk in the room and immediately feel like everyone is watching and judging you.  You start to feel extremely self-conscious and think things like, “I don’t know what to say to anyone.  Why did I wear this shirt?  I’m starting to sweat and everyone can tell.  People are talking about me. Why did I come here?!?” What is Social Anxiety? The Social Anxiety Association defines social anxiety as: “The fear of social situations and the interaction with other people that can automatically bring on feelings of self-consciousness,...

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The Fly

Posted by on May 18, 2011 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

In my last article, I introduced the idea of working with the mind as a way of curbing one’s temper.  To read that article and watch a video by Pema Chodron, click here.  Pema explains that we have little control of our external environment, so, what to do when we feel agitated, angry, and aggressive?  We have to learn to work with our own minds.  How do we do that?  Through meditation. The Fly We have all had the experience of being annoyed by a fly.  You swat it away only to have it come back.  You kill it only to have another one appear.  This is how the mind works as well; our thoughts being like a fly.  An annoying one pops up and goes away. Then an angry one...

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Got A Temper? Wear Some Shoes!

Posted by on Apr 13, 2011 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

Wondering what the heck I’m talking about?  Watch this 2 and a half-minute video of Pema Chodron to hear the explanation. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buTrsK_ZkvA[/youtube] Pema is saying something we don’t want to hear – that the key to our own inner-peace and happiness has to do with the way we work with our own minds. Life is for the most part out of our control.  It is impossible to make everything go the way we want it to or think it should be. Why Can’t the Other Person Just Change? Most of us are very invested in getting other people to change and be as we’d like them to be.  We think things like, “If he/she would...

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