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10 Ways to Stop Worrying About Money
It seems worry about money and the economy is everywhere, and it is hard to not get sucked in to the fear that is so pervasive in our country at this time. According to Pew Research, more than seven-in-ten Americans say they worry about money, either often (35%) or sometimes (37%). For more information on this research you can click here. I found myself being aware of worrisome thoughts today as I wrote checks to the IRS and the state of Colorado for money owed for taxes. As I wrote the checks, thoughts started to creep in like,...
read moreGetting Over the Doormat Syndrome
Leave My Key Under My Doormat A friend of mine recently ended a rocky 9 month relationship. There had been lots of unanswered phone calls, plans canceled at the last minute, and effort on my friend’s part to make it work. When he decided to go out of town over her birthday instead of spending the day with her like they’d planned, it was the last straw. She called him and said, “Why don’t you just leave my key under my doormat, which is appropriate given that I’ve allowed myself to be one for so long!”...
read moreYour Self-Worth is Not Equal to Your Net-Worth
Adolf Merckle Commits Suicide The press has been reporting on the life and death of Adolf Merckle. Adolf was a German business man who was ranked the 94th richest man in the world. He employed 100,000 people and saw a profit of 30 billion a year. As the economy took a dive last fall, so did his business empire. Unable to cope with what was happening, he wrote a suicide note to his family and stepped in front of a train on Jan. 5th, 2009. Why did Adolf Merckle commit suicide? We Equate Who We Are With What We Do When you meet someone for...
read moreUnderstanding Self-Aggression
Insight from a 14 year-old girl: I was recently talking to a 14 year-old girl who cuts herself. “It’s pain I can control,” she told me. “I prepare for the pain, feel the cut and see the blood and then I don’t have to feel the other pain.” I was struck by how much insight this girl had into why she wanted to hurt herself. I was also struck by how we all do some version of this – create pain to avoid another pain. Self-aggression is a way out: Self-aggression, we think, is a way out of feeling our...
read moreAnxiety ~ An addiction to negative thinking
“It starts spinning in my brain and then it’s pounding in my chest.” – Jeffrey Lewis Check out this 3 minute video by Jeffrey Lewis on You Tube: [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKYDcAsahXY[/youtube] What is anxiety? Anxiety is an addiction to negative thinking about the past or future that creates a physiological fight or flight response in the body. Fear and panic create a debilitating condition that prevents people from taking risks, pursing their dreams, or sometimes, even leaving the...
read moreShame ~ Part I
“A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying… that he is wiser today than yesterday.” -Jonathan Swift “Pride attaches undue importance to the superiority of one’s status in the eyes of others; And shame is fear of humiliation at one’s inferior status in the estimation of others.” -Lao Tzu “We but half express ourselves, and are ashamed of that divine idea which each of us represents.“- Ralph Waldo Emerson What is Shame? Shame is the inner voice...
read moreShame ~ Part II
Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness. -James Thurber Man can alter his life by altering his thinking. – William James Summary of Shame Part I: In the previous article about shame, I presented the definition of shame, and how it often arises in conjunction with other emotions such as fear or anger. I also described the difference between shame and guilt: shame being the feeling and belief that something is wrong with you, while guilt is the feeling of remorse that arises when you regret a behavior....
read moreAnger and the Three Boundaries
I recently got angry. Really angry! And I found myself needing to set a physical boundary. I picked up my chair and left the dinner table, and in front of my grandparents, aunts, niece, parents, brother and husband declared that, “I need some space!” We were talking politics, but that’s another article… What is it about anger? We have all gotten all kinds of messages about anger, basically that it is “bad” and that if we were just a little more enlightened, we wouldn’t have to feel this pesky...
read moreAwakening Maitri (Loving Kindness) In Ourselves
I remember being in Nepal in 2001 on a study abroad program, and waking up in the middle of the night after having a vivid dream that I had been “voted off the program.” No doubt my sub-conscious was playing off of the then very popular TV show “Survivor,” where each week a cast member would be voted off the show by the other cast members. The odd thing was, I’d only seen the show once, yet that was enough for me to fear that I could be the one- the one everybody disliked enough to send packing. Add being in...
read moreThe Power of Gratitude
I was over at a friend’s house recently who has been going through a divorce. I noticed he had cut out a picture from the newspaper of a boy from Iraq laying in the middle of the street, his bicycle warped in an awkward angle next to him, smoke and flames behind him. His face was full of anguish, and there was no denying the pain he felt. “Why do you have this picture on your fridge?” I asked him. He replied, “I look at it when I think I am having a bad day.” We tend to focus on the negative: Often we...
read moreRecent Blog Posts
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Letting Go of the Past: A Prerequisite for Being In the Present
Recently, I watched the movie Up with my family, which I hadn't seen in years. Despite it being heart warming, humorous (squirrel!), and entertaining,… Read more… -
How To Have A Connecting Conversation: Step by Step
If you are having trouble connecting with people during the Covid-19 pandemic you are not alone. This article gives step by step instructions for how to have a connecting conversation.
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Managing Anxiety During the Covid-19 Pandemic
4 strategies for managing anxiety during the covid-19 pandemic. Read more…
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Mystical States and Healing: What Psychotherapy Can Learn from Psychedelic-Assisted Psychotherapy
What they did yesterday afternoon ~ by Warsan Shire they set my aunts house on fire i cried the way women on… Read more… -
The Non-Violent Communication (NVC) Mindfulness Connection
How NVC (Non-Violent Communication) and mindfulness practice are inter-connected. Read more…
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Touch and Go: Meditation for Pain
When my horse got to the highway side of the fence, I started to panic. I used a meditation technique called "Touch and Go" to work with my experience as it unfolded. Read more…
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Losing Aby: Grief and Stillness
My experience of losing my dog, Aby, of feeling grief, and trying to explain death to my six year old son. Read more… -
How To Raise Non-Judgmental Children
We all want our children to treat others with kindness and respect. Teaching and modeling non-judgment is a key component to this! Read more… -
Blame and the Empty Boat Practice
After watching a dog kill a cat, I was forced to look at how I over-rode my own intuition and to explore the concept of blame with the help of the Zen metaphor of the empty boat. Read more… -
3 Mindfulness Activities You Can Do With Your Child Today
“Mindfulness means paying attention, in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.” ~ Jon Kabat-Zinn Mindfulness.… Read more…