Uncategorized

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

Posted by on Mar 3, 2010 in Uncategorized | 3 comments

A Class Divided In 1968, Jane Elliot, a 3rd grade teacher in Iowa, conducted an experiment in her classroom to teach her students about racism.  She divided the class into 2 groups- those with blue eyes and those with brown eyes.  On the first day of the experiment, the blue-eyed children were told they were better than the brown-eyed children.  They got special privileges such as extra time at recess and permission to use the drinking fountain.  In addition, they were praised all day long and told how smart they were.  The brown eyed children were told they were less intelligent than the blue eyed children and had to wear collars identifying themselves as a...

Read More

Complex Inferiority

Posted by on Jan 25, 2010 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

The Wisdom of Eleanor “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt I recently was talking to a client about a situation she is dealing with at work.  She described it like this: “My boss is so condescending and talks down to me.  She treats me like I’m stupid and I get so angry!  Then I get really afraid that I’m going to make a mistake or do something wrong, and it will just confirm her beliefs about me.  If I let the fear pick up momentum, I then worry that I’ll get fired, I won’t have enough money to pay my bills, and that my partner will then want to leave me.” Does some version of this...

Read More

But, I’m Right!

Posted by on Nov 25, 2009 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” ~ Rumi “Being right is highly overrated. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.” ~ Author Unknown Recently I had a disagreement with a friend of mine who hadn’t responded to my email about getting together.  My feelings were hurt, and I decided to talk to her about it.  I felt the facts were clear- I had the email correspondence, including the last email that she had not replied to, still in my in box- a paper trail of proof that  I was “right.”  So, when the conversation started to take a defensive turn and she suggested that I had...

Read More

Body Confidence

Posted by on Oct 13, 2009 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

A few days ago, Ralph Lauren released an advertisement with model Fillipa Hamiltion that had been digitally altered, resulting in a freakishly thin Fillipa.  Ralph Lauren did publicly apologize and take responsibility for the ad, however, it doesn’t change the fact that the company thought that the photo of an emaciated woman would be considered attractive. Dove recently started a “campaign for real beauty” and created a short video called  “Evolution” which shows how professional makeup, hair, and a computer alter a woman’s face to prepare her for a billboard ad.  You can watch that video here....

Read More

Communication Gridlock

Posted by on Sep 13, 2009 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

Communication Gridlock Here is an excerpt of a typical argument between Ted and Jennie: (Names have been changed). “We have some version of the same argument over and over,” Ted said.  “She nags me and then says I don’t listen.  What she doesn’t seem to get is her nagging makes me not want to listen!”  Jennie responded, “I only nag because you don’t listen!  You are worse than the kids.  You constantly forget important dates and I can’t rely on you to do what you say you’re going to do.”   What Causes Communication Gridlock? When communication gridlock happens, neither person is willing to listen to the...

Read More

Inviting the Demons

Posted by on Aug 9, 2009 in Uncategorized | 2 comments

Milarepa was a Tibetan saint. The story goes that he was peacefully meditating in his cave when the demons of greed, fear, and anger appeared. They were terrifying. The flesh hung from their bones, and they smelled foul. They held bloody knives and swords. Milarepa looked up and said, “Ah, I’ve been expecting you. Come sit by my fire, have tea.” They said, “Aren’t you afraid of us?” He said, “No. Your hideous appearance only reminds me to be aware and have mercy. Come sit by my fire and have tea.” Avoiding Our Fear Unlike Milarepa, we usually do not invite our fear for tea.  Instead, we push it away, kick it out the door,...

Read More