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The Joshua Bell Experience

Posted by on Jun 6, 2009 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

A remarkable story was published in the Washington Post that was written by Gene Weingarten entitled, “Pearls Before Breakfast.” The gist of the article is this:  One of the finest classical musicians in the world, Joshua Bell, plays his violin (which by the way is worth 3.5 million dollars) in the DC subway to commuters on their way to work, and hardly anyone notices. He plays some of the most difficult and beautiful pieces that can be played by a solo violinist, and earns about $32 in tips. Two days before his performance in the subway, Joshua Bell had sold out Symphony Hall in Boston where the average seat price was $100.  If you’d like to read the...

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Do You Create Rules to Maintain Low Self-Esteem?

Posted by on May 4, 2009 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

Rules to Maintain Low-Self Esteem Rule #1: Be perfect.  Under no circumstances are you allowed to make a mistake. Rule #2: Always please others.  Even when you are stretched to the limit, say yes to that extra task, appointment, or commitment. Rule #3: Focus on your flaws.  After all, that is the only way self-improvement will happen, right? Don’t focus on your accomplishments- that is egotistical and selfish, and besides, you got lucky. Rule #4: Ignore your own boundaries and needs.  Allow other people take advantage of you, feel angry about it, and see yourself as inferior to them. Rule #5: Take everything personally.  Assume other people’s actions and...

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10 Ways to Stop Worrying About Money

Posted by on Apr 14, 2009 in Uncategorized | 16 comments

It seems worry about money and the economy is everywhere, and it is hard to not get sucked in to the fear that is so pervasive in our country at this time.  According to Pew Research, more than seven-in-ten Americans say they worry about money, either often (35%) or sometimes (37%).  For more information on this research you can click here.   I found myself being aware of worrisome thoughts today as I wrote checks to the IRS and the state of Colorado for money owed for taxes.  As I wrote the checks, thoughts started to creep in like, “You were not expecting to put this much money towards taxes!”  and “What if an emergency pops up and you don’t...

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Getting Over the Doormat Syndrome

Posted by on Mar 19, 2009 in Uncategorized | 1 comment

Leave My Key Under My Doormat A friend of mine recently ended a rocky 9 month relationship.  There had been lots of unanswered phone calls, plans canceled at the last minute, and effort on my friend’s part to make it work.  When he decided to go out of town over her birthday instead of spending the day with her like they’d planned, it was the last straw.  She called him and said, “Why don’t you just leave my key under my doormat, which is appropriate given that I’ve allowed myself to be one for so long!” What is the Doormat Syndrome? We all have been in a relationship where we struggled to find our voice. A relationship where no...

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Your Self-Worth is Not Equal to Your Net-Worth

Posted by on Mar 1, 2009 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

Adolf Merckle Commits Suicide The press has been reporting on the life and death of  Adolf Merckle.  Adolf was a German business man who was ranked the 94th richest man in the world.  He employed 100,000 people and saw a profit of 30 billion a year.  As the economy took a dive last fall, so did his business empire.  Unable to cope with what was happening, he wrote a suicide note to his family and stepped in front of a train on Jan. 5th, 2009.  Why did Adolf Merckle commit suicide? We Equate Who We Are With What We Do When you meet someone for the first time, what is one of the first questions you are asked?  “What do you do?”  This has become the way we...

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Understanding Self-Aggression

Posted by on Feb 1, 2009 in Uncategorized | 1 comment

Insight from a 14 year-old girl: I was recently talking to a 14 year-old girl who cuts herself.  “It’s pain I can control,” she told me.  “I prepare for the pain, feel the cut and see the blood and then I don’t have to feel the other pain.”  I was struck by how much insight this girl had into why she wanted to hurt herself.  I was also struck by how we all do some version of this – create pain to avoid another pain. Self-aggression is a way out: Self-aggression, we think, is a way out of feeling our vulnerability.  When we feel the rawness of life, grief, and/or the fear of inadequacy, the pain can be so great that we just want...

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