Turning 40?!? I just turned 40, and wanted to do something to acknowledge and celebrate this milestone. I decided to go on a meditation retreat held at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur, CA. There isn’t a spot on the property from where you can’t see the ocean and hear its continuous roar, an ever-present reminder to “come back” to now. There is a natural hot springs that runs through the property, and tubs have been set up overlooking the ocean cliffs. By day, the stunning view of the ocean crashing against the rocks,...
read moreWhat is Trauma? Trauma is any experience that overwhelms our normal coping mechanisms. Some examples of trauma include: parental abuse, parental neglect, emotional abuse, bullying, domestic violence, addiction, war, rape, incest, personal injury, and loss. This of course is not a complete list. Because we all have different coping mechanisms, there is a subjective quality to trauma. Trauma Can Be Multigenerational: Multigenerational trauma, sometimes referred to as intergenerational trauma, is trauma experienced in one generation that is...
read moreIt’s terrifying that just a few months after writing about the shootings in Aurora that I find myself compelled to write about the shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary. Over the past few days its all been said. This is what needs to happen so this doesn’t happen again: More gun control Less gun control God in schools Police in schools More funding for mental health Leadership from Washington All of these arguments can be made and disagreed upon passionately and we are still really nowhere closer to...
read moreOn July 20th, 2012, the unthinkable happened 30 miles from my office. James Holmes went into an Aurora movie theater and open-fired. Why does anyone go into a movie theater with a semi-automatic assault rifle to shoot and kill people? Insanity? Hopefully, because the alternative is too scary. At first I just let it skim my being. “How terrible,” went the conversation, “What a tragedy.” Then the fact gathering stage: “Who sold him the guns?” “Why did he drop out of school?” “Did he...
read moreConfidence: Belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities. I’d say that confidence is the ability to be yourself. That’s easier said than done. We’ve all been there. A situation arises and your self-confidence goes out the window. It can look like: Can’t say no Can’t say yes Can’t make a decision Can’t control your temper Anxiety/Panic Attacks Second guessing oneself Replaying a social interaction over and over Can’t stand up for yourself Can’t take a...
read moreMy horse Hermano died on March 2nd, 2012. Here are the 3 most important things he taught me: 1) The most healing thing you can offer another being is your complete attention and presence. 2) Health is unique to each being. There is no one size fits all approach. 3) When there is suffering, stay present. Even if it means standing, walking, and hopping on a broken leg. To read the entire article, click...
read more“You have to feel to heal.” ~ Julia Butterfly Hill Most of us have bought into the notion that it’s not ok to cry, especially in front of other people. In reality there are social, emotional, and physical benefits to allowing ourselves to cry when we need to. To read the entire article, click...
read moreThrough the practice of mediation, we are able to create a gap between our thoughts and our behavior. By staying present in the energy in the body instead of getting wrapped up in our thinking, we can create choice about our behavior. This is the story of my own experience of getting bit by a cat. I couldn’t believe it. “We were supposed to be friends,” I thought, and to my horror, my next thought was, “Kick it!” To read the full article, click here....
read moreParenting. It’s hard. Every holiday season I’m struck by the whole “naughty or nice” syndrome that takes over our culture. In this article I explore the idea of parenting without punishment or reward, and explain why I think the Elf on the Shelf phenomenon is harmful to the self esteem of children. To read the whole article, click here....
read moreOne of the hardest things for people to hear is, “If you are not compassionate with yourself, your ability to be compassionate with others is limited.” I get it! I didn’t like hearing it either. Why? Because it means the jig is up. So What’s the Jig? The jig is that we have all this compassion for the pain of others, when in reality, we don’t. At least not in the true sense of the word. (For more information on what compassion is, read my article, “Compassion Confusion”). Not having compassion...
read more