To be honest I never thought much about Steve Jobs, even though I am a die-hard Mac, ipod and iphone user, and my 16 month old son knows how to use an ipad. However, after I heard about his death, I became curious about his life. Who was this man that invented the technology that I suddenly find difficult to go a day without? What I found profoundly impacted me. I’ve decided to let his wisdom speak for itself. On Work: “Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what...
read moreIn my work I talk a lot about compassion. What it is, and what it isn’t. There’s a lot of confusion out there. The biggest misconception I hear can be summarized as, “If I was really a compassionate person, I’d be ok with whatever people do that hurts me, because I know that the other person is hurting as well.” Although this way of thinking contains a seed of truth (the other person is hurting) it is a misguided view of compassion, and ultimately leads to more suffering for both people. Maria’s Story:...
read moreA client of mine recently described his struggles with his wife. “I do victim math. I start adding it all up. I watched the baby so she could work. I did the laundry. I vacuumed. She didn’t say thank you or appreciate any of it! Eventually, I feel resentful. The clincher is she will criticize me for something and I just blow up! Then she’s hurt and angry with me! Victim math is really hurting my relationship.” Not Being Authentic This is a good description of what we all do from time to time. We think we are...
read moreYou’re at a party that you didn’t want to go to in the first place, but you got talked into it. You walk in the room and immediately feel like everyone is watching and judging you. You start to feel extremely self-conscious and think things like, “I don’t know what to say to anyone. Why did I wear this shirt? I’m starting to sweat and everyone can tell. People are talking about me. Why did I come here?!?” What is Social Anxiety? The Social Anxiety Association defines social anxiety as: “The fear...
read moreIn my last article, I introduced the idea of working with the mind as a way of curbing one’s temper. To read that article and watch a video by Pema Chodron, click here. Pema explains that we have little control of our external environment, so, what to do when we feel agitated, angry, and aggressive? We have to learn to work with our own minds. How do we do that? Through meditation. The Fly We have all had the experience of being annoyed by a fly. You swat it away only to have it come back. You kill it only to have another one...
read moreWondering what the heck I’m talking about? Watch this 2 and a half-minute video of Pema Chodron to hear the explanation. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buTrsK_ZkvA[/youtube] Pema is saying something we don’t want to hear – that the key to our own inner-peace and happiness has to do with the way we work with our own minds. Life is for the most part out of our control. It is impossible to make everything go the way we want it to or think it should be. Why Can’t the Other Person Just Change? Most of us are very...
read moreIs a video! I know what you’re thinking-how long is it? It’s 20 minutes- and worth every minute. Brene Brown talks about the following in a humorous, personal way: Connection is what gives our life meaning Those that feel connection feel worthy of love and belonging Shame is the fear of disconnection In order to have connection, we have to be vulnerable- we have to allow ourselves to be seen What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful I hope you’ll watch....
read moreA friend called me the other day and said, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year,” with a slight hint of sarcasm. Everywhere we go, there is holiday music playing, colorful lights, and cookies. So why don’t we all feel merry and bright? Holiday Incongruence I think the answer in a nut-shell is because many of us experience the holidays as incongruent with our actual experience. We are being bombarded with several messages during the holiday season: * Spend money to show people you care * It’s time to be...
read moreI have to admit that the first time I saw Geronimo I was intimidated, and so was my horse, Hermano. We both approached the barn, feeling what it meant to be newcomers under Geronimo’s watchful eye. I let Hermano into the paddock, and Geronimo immediately made it clear- Hermano was going to have to earn his respect. Over time he made it clear to me that I would have to do the same, and so would the clients I brought out to see him. How exactly does one earn the respect of a 2,000 pound being whose might can be felt from one hundred...
read more3 months ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. He depends on me and my husband to get all of his needs met – food, attention, warmth, a clean diaper, love, stimulation, and comfort. He trusts completely that his needs will be met, and we do our best to make sure they are. On the other end of the life spectrum, my grandmother just celebrated her 90th birthday. She too depends on others to get her needs met. She has meals prepared for her, a cleaning service, and someone to help her bathe. She also needs visits and phone calls...
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